|Wednesday, November 18th, 2009|
This movie is just like Independence Day starring The Fresh Price but instead of the aliens destroying everything their spaceship breaks down, over Johannesburg, none the less. The "prawns" get forced into ghettos and eat garbage and all that. They are called "prawns" because they look like walking prawns. simple enough. This move didn't do it for me. It was Independence Day, Alien VS Predator II and Roots in one total post-produced Hollywood race-peace nonsense. I'm all for ending apartheid wherever it's still existing, but why the heavy handed skifee shmaltz-fest? I just don't know.
|Wednesday, September 9th, 2009|
I think this is Mike Judge's 3rd movie. or 4th. did he make the bevis and butthead movie? i don't care. Extract is a more blue-collar style Office Space movie. Jason Bateman plays his character from Arrested Development and Ben Affleck pretty much steals every scene he's in. This is like the 5th movie I've gone to see in the theaters this summer. Anyway, Ben Affleck, I think it turns out that he actually is an actor and maybe not a complete tool. I will probably watch this movie again in a couple of years when the video store puts a used copy on sale for $5. then I will proceed to watch it maybe 50 more times throughout the remainder of my life.
|Wednesday, August 26th, 2009|
|Drag Me to Hell
I usually go to the movies alone. I read an article in college about how increasing use of home video media has made the act of attending a theatrical showing of a movie into a different experience. People have become conditioned to feel as though they are alone in their homes with their friends or loved ones resulting in the creation of a more comfortable environment where the viewer feels entirely comfortable expressing their opinions of the movie out loud in a normal speaking tone of voice. Since I read this I have become hyper-aware of this kind of behavior during movies. Audiences in Austin are better than audiences in the Metroplex. A friend and I went to see Candyman when it came out. We decided to go to a theater downtown. The audience was so wild that a verbal fight broke out amongst several patrons. Then the cops came. I'm not sure why the cops were involved. Either way, this was a distraction.
I went to see Drag Me to hell with 4 other people in a crowded stadium style theater down south. This is easily one of the scariest films I've seen. Sam Raimi finally made a high budget version of his creeping spectral visions. Being a fan from way back I appreciate this very much. I wasnt a huge spiderman fan. But the money has served him well.
Seeing a movie in a crowded theater is better than it use to be. I've seen more movies this summer since 86. The heatwave made something click.
|Wednesday, August 19th, 2009|
|There Will Be Blood
Tonight I watched "There Will be Blood" directed by PT Anderson and starring Daniel Day-Lewis. I have a terrible headache so this may be a short review. I've been drinking this Bacardi "razz" rum and it's been giving me the worst headaches. It tastes good though. I kept getting like hot-flashes or something while watching this movie. Not like menopause hot-flashes. I am a man. I've heard about male-menopause but I think it's suppose to happen later in life. Besides, male-menopause seems like bullshit. I don't know why I didn't see this movie when it came out. Maybe because everybody was like "bla bla bla best movie ever bla bla bla daniel day-lewis' mustache, etc". I think some important details got edited out of this movie. and the part where Daniels' "son" shoots off that shotgun like 4 times then grabs the barrel without getting burned. That's not how guns work. The barrel gets very very hot, for christsake. This was a good movie. My headache went away.
|Thursday, July 30th, 2009|
|Be Here Now
Ive decided to go back to amateur movie reviewing. In this forum only. hopefully they will be funny. I will also review the tv shows i've been watching. and I will talk about Rambo.
|Wednesday, June 10th, 2009|
So yes I was forced to quit but i dont think i will fight it. That doesn't seem like the kind of thing I would be interested in doing. They got a dude from the kitchen to replace me. So I suppose I'm off to find some other thing to do for awhile.
|Saturday, May 16th, 2009|
Yesterday I got fired because of some language barrier problem, but I will go into that after a few more stories.
1. A new woman who moved in needed some repairs in her room and made a work order that said "drain clogged". so I got the Drano and went up to her room. She is a Mexican lady, hard to tell her age. She said she drinks 3 gallons of water a day. Only Ozarka Water. I would guess around 70. She was telling me the maintenance-type problems she was having, which were numerous. she proceed to tell me about her life in Austin from the 50's on up. About how she bought a corvette in the late 50's when they first came out and beat guys with soupedup cars in street races and how she was hit by a drunk driver in the 90's and it ruined her life and so on and so on. I barely said a word and when she asked me a question it was very direct and she would just start talking about something regarding that which related to her. I was in this room listening to this woman talk for 3 hours. Many many times after the first hour I made vain attempts to leave but got sucked back into her weird conversation. I finally left and told her I would come back with tools etc. When I came back she was perfectly silent. did not speak a word.
|Saturday, April 25th, 2009|
As I have repeated here, I am one of only 5 male employees out of about 60 employees. None of the management or administration are men. All middle aged women. I sit with them at lunch as I have repeated here numerous times. One of the refraining conversations that is had at lunch is how men are stupid. As far as I can tell, middle aged women who work in assisted living think all men are shitty and stupid. An I have to hear about it every day. And yes, it's like I'm not even at the table. They wonder why I don't talk to them and periodically they will be talking about how men can be so shitty and look at me in a way like "yeah we're talking about you too, asshole." these women also talk much about their terrible health problems or the problems they have with their kids who have either been in and out of jail since they were 18 or they are cops/military personnel. Asthma seems to be their biggest concern seeing as they are all heavy smokers and take many days off due this ailment. The thing I enjoy about having lunch with these people is that they talk and talk and no one listens. Rarely does anyone respond to anything anyone has to say and when someone says something that should provoke a response: dead silence. So I do not speak, unless it is to make a passing comment about "the game" last night or complain about a health problem.
|Thursday, April 23rd, 2009|
I'm actually at work right now. I think this is the first post, as far as I can remember that I've posted from work. There was sausage for lunch. Again. We have sausage here about 4 times a week. pathetic.
|Saturday, April 11th, 2009|
lately, when I'm not missing work due to wildfire-related respiratory illness, my duties at work have consisted of the following, summed up by this pseudo conversation:
boss: move that furniture from this room to that room
boss: what the hell are you doing?
me: I'm doing what you told me to do.
boss: well, things have changed, moved that furniture from that room you just moved it to to this other room.
boss: ok there's been a change of plans. move all that furniture to this other room and leave it for salvation army.
boss: ok salvation army doesn't want this totally fucked up furniture so, uh, you know that room this furniture was originally in? well, move it all back there.
me: uuuuuuuuuhhhhhhok yr the boss right?
boss: damn right im the boss.
|Friday, March 20th, 2009|
A new resident, a bit younger than most residents, was a biker and bike mechanic until he began getting into a series of wrecks, due to, he says, not recuperating from the previous accidents. He has a long white beard and sometimes we talk about beards and other times we talk about motorcycles, which I know as much as anyone who's read Sonny Barger's autobiography as well as seen about 20 biker movies. He told me and showed me photos of several cherry choppers he wrecked and seemed to have rather good humor about it, all things considered. I got the impression this resident thought I was a biker. I let him continue to believe this and went about my work.
Several weeks later, A large shipment of around 1000 books was donated to the Facility along with several large bookcases. It became my job to set up the bookcases and put the books on the shelves. I took many many books. Half of which are paper back classics, which used book stores always pay the most for unless the cover is ripped up. There's was also a 1929 edition of Alice's Adventures through the Looking Glass. Also an thinly disguised "erotic massage" book. The most curious was a book, a ZINE, that was basically a manual on snakebites, how to treat them, various regional poisonous snakes and graphic color photos of the effects of snake bite on humans. Inside this book was a loose snapshot stuck in the front. The photo was of an naked thin older woman in her mid 40's frolicking on a beach holding a black umbrella. The Biker and I were looking through the books together while I was putting them in the bookshelves and we began talking about horror novels. He took out a Dean Koontz book, I can't remember the title, but went on to tell me it was his very favorite book and that I should read it. I said sure I would read it like I would say about any book someone says is their very favorite book. The cover of the book was something to the effect of a scary ragged dolly with x's sew over it's eyes lying on the porch of an old house. I put the book back in the shelf after The Biker walked away. Later that day he came up to me and said in a rather serious way "Don't forget about that book." I realized I had no intention of reading that book but I said alright anyway. At the end of the day he came up to me with the Dean Koontz book and handed it to me without saying anything. I said thanks and put it in the file-cabinet in the workshop where stuff is kept that I feel like I might take home at some point but feel no urgency to do so.
|Sunday, February 22nd, 2009|
There's a new resident, we'll call him JJ. JJ is a bit younger than most the residents by a good 10 years. He wears pajamas everywhere and slicks back his gray hair. He sleeps on the floor on a pile of blankets. The Nurse told me it's because he is always falling out of the bed and injuring himself. He sits on his blanket pile and listens to ZZ Top on his boom box. He does this every day. I will walk by and "Sharp Dressed Man" will be blaring out of his room, him just laying there. He talks to himself when he walks around the building. I once overheard him say "Am I the only ambulatory motherfucker is this damn place?". I suppose he probably is.
|Sunday, February 15th, 2009|
The state inspector from "life-safety" who was about to shut the building down because of various violations, with whom we are now making an attempt to comply to the regulations which the administrator claims to have know nothing about, now rejected our plan of correction in lieu of rule he himself knew nothing about. So, my job yesterday was to go around the building collecting all aerosols(hairspray, spraypaint, wd-40, etc) from all persons and places within the building, ridding the building of "dangerous" materials.
conversation with myself and the administrator
as i was clocking out at 4:58pm
administrator: it's after 5?
me: um, no
administrator: after 5 time to clock out huh?
we both turn and look at the clock 4:59pm
|Sunday, February 8th, 2009|
I am finding it annoying to write these stories in here and then find myself retelling them in-person(or phone)to many of the same people who read this. So I'm going on hiatus until I get over that.
|Wednesday, January 7th, 2009|
|Hot Pockets Revisited
You know you've been working somewhere for too long when this subject comes up again.
Same people: Activities director(joan), head of Houskeeping(patty), and myself(not speaking)all sitting in the dining room during lunch.
Joan: oh I meant to tell you (speaking to no one specifically), my dog, the other night when i cooking these hot pockets, I put the hot pockets on a plate, walk out of the room, come back, one of the hot pockets is gone and i like where the hell did my hot pocket go, damn dog! so i go look under the bed where he goes when he steals food and he's eating my hot pocket but it's too hot and he's burning his tongue. Damn dog!
Patty: I don't eat hot pockets so much anymore
Joan: yeah, a lot of salt. fat.
Patty: I use to eat the hell out of them. Everyday.
Joan: I eat them before i go to bed. Pepperoni hot pockets.
Patty: before you go to bed?
Joan: hell yeah.
Patty: I eat cereal before I go to bed.
Joan: what do you got against hot pockets?
Patty: i just told you!
|Sunday, December 28th, 2008|
There's a room on the top floor that is referred to as "The File Room". Whenever the nurses or management or whoever has filled up a box with "files" someone takes the box up to the file room and "files" it, which quite literally consists of tossing the box into a huge pile of boxes piled up like a bonfire. It's a regular size room they quit having people occupy because of some kind of water damage. So now it's packed to the gills with boxes in a humongous pile.
I went up there one day to throw something on the pile and the door wouldn't open because of some sort of pile-avalanche blockage. I decided it was time to do something about the file room. I began by tossing file boxes to the outer edges of the room. To my dismay the pile was also full of broken glass. I deduced the glass to be from some framed prints someone threw on the pile and eventually got smashed. After removing several small shards of glass from my hands I decided to forget about salvaging the file room, hooked up a tv, sat on the pile and watched Mission Impossible II.
|Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008|
Today I cleaned the leaves from out of the swimming pool which had been amassing for a few weeks. When I was finished, a female resident stopped me in the hall telling me how glad she was that I had cleaned the pool. She said at night when she looks out the windows, the lights from inside the pool make the large clusters of leaves look like dead bodies. I told her that I was glad to help, and bid her farewell saying "yep...no more bodies"
|Wednesday, November 12th, 2008|
I got to watch some TV again at work while painting a residents' room. I watched Jeopardy and then Teen Jeopardy. I think Jeopardy is getting dumbed-down. I don't usually get so many right answers. I guess dumbed-down to people as smart as myself.
|Monday, November 3rd, 2008|
There is a printed out list tacked up to the bulletin boards in the elevators. The list contains the names of every resident who died at the facility in the past year. There have been 25 residents die; half of which died after they were taken to the hospital. The other half died at the facility. The number of deaths within the past year has been unusually high. When I began working there, the marketing director said they usually die in 3's, about three or four times a year. So typically around 12 people a year die. I'm not sure why it more than doubled during the past 12 months. If people would just not die so much I would probably get a raise. I'm not sure what to do about this. Maybe tell people not to eat the food there? I suppose then they would die of starvation.
|Saturday, October 25th, 2008|
In the dining room there is a sign that announces what will be available for the next meal. Yesterday morning it announced "Don nots" for breakfast. Of course I assumed they meant donuts. I went into the kitchen where there were a couple boxes of Sam's Club donuts. I asked a Mexican lady if these were the donuts because I wanted to see if she was going to pronounce it "Don Nots" and she did. But it was more like she was unable to pronounce the word "donuts", as if from a speech impediment. I asked her if she knew of the actor Don Knots. She said no. It's all starting to make sense now.